


Just because I can't hear you doesn't mean I can't fall in love with you

by cerisecandy



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Character with Disabilities, College Student Eren Yeager, Deaf Eren Yeager, Eren is a brat, French-Speaking Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), German Eren Yeager, Language Kink, Levi/Eren Yeager-centric, Light Angst, Long-Distance Friendship, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Minor Krista Lenz | Historia Reiss/Ymir, Online Relationship, Online Romance, Plot Twists, Porn Watching, Romantic Comedy, Sexual Content, levi has a potty mouth
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-03
Updated: 2015-07-18
Packaged: 2018-02-28 00:51:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2712914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cerisecandy/pseuds/cerisecandy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A tender, heartwarming romantic comedy about a deaf boy who talks too much and a perpetually frowning man who talks much less- and how, although they're miles apart, find an unconventional love over the Internet.<br/>-<br/>The sheer amount of sap in that one paragraph alone was UNREAL. Details were, unfortunately, grossly exaggerated, except of course Eren being deaf and Levi exiting the womb with a permanent piss face. Also, this story could be roughly considered a romantic comedy, although substituting comedy with "bad sexual tension and the worst timings for toilet humour" wouldn't be that far off the bat. </p><p>One more thing: Levi doesn't find out Eren's deaf until their first video call.</p><p>Enjoy the ride.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Porn and Peer Pressure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *jazz hands* *dramatic entrance* *grand orchestral music* 
> 
> Why the fresh hell did I just start a new fanfiction I'm not even doing anything about my other story and I'm not even doing anything with my life and I have no friends and I'm a miserable piece of condemned SHIT just accept this humble piece of writing

Eren lifted the cover of his laptop and cracked his knuckles, staring at the newly illuminated screen. _Ah. The Internet._ A tool that placed the wealth of the entire world’s knowledge right at his fingertips, encompassing millions upon billions of possibilities, a source rich and brimming with untapped power just waiting to be properly utilised.

Eren snickered.

_He was probably going to watch porn again._

 

_-_

 

Miles away in the artfully monochromatic lounge of a twenty-four year old man sat a…well, the twenty-four year old man himself. He was often alone in the lounge, surrounded by piles of paper, but this time proved to be an exception. The table was clear of files and documents, glass surface devoid of anything but a white box.

“Can I open the fucking thing now?” 

The woman sitting beside him with a head of rusty-auburn hair pouted. “But, Levi, can’t we just…You know, bask in how brand new it is? It’s a newly personalised macbook! Your best friend bought it for you! Can’t you just appreciate-“

“You’re not my best friend, Hanji,” the man named Levi scoffed, and pressed two fingers to the bridge of his slender nose. “And I do appreciate the gesture, but as I said, I would appreciate it a hell of a lot more if you’d let me open the thing.”

Narrowing her eyes childishly, Hanji drew back with a disgruntled murmur and let Levi slide the sleek metal device out of its package. “Not bad,” Levi muttered, “Looks like kids these days are actually designing something useful.”  
  
“You’re twenty-four! Stop making yourself sound old!”

“Yeah, but with people like you monkeying around all the time it’s a wonder I don’t feel older.” If Hanji were a different person, she’d have been severely wounded, but she deflected the insult like a pro. She’d been friends with Levi for so long that she was already used to the twitch in his lip when he sneered, or the wrinkles between his eyebrows when he frowned- which was practically all the time. She’d been friends with Levi so long that she’d even seen his dick-

“ _Hanji. May I enquire as to what the fresh ass fuck this is?”  
_

Hanji started and leant over his shoulder to take a look. “Oh!” She cried, obviously delighted with her own genius, “I installed a chat widget for you! It links you up to this chat feature that lots of websites install. Look, if you press this button, you can find out people who are online within the area!”

“And why, exactly, do I need a _chat widget?”_  
  
“Because you’re a lonely, single, unmarried twenty-four-year old man who can count his friends on his fingers and holes himself up in his house all day working!”

Levi was actually in awe. “You…did you memorise that?” 

“No you’re just too pathetic- Waugh!” Hanji screamed and fell off her chair as she received a stinging kick to the shin. Levi sighed, opening his pursed lips. “I told you, Hanji, I don’t need company. I’m fine like this. I hate noise, and I hate dirt, and I hate people because all of them are stupid.”

“But…Levi…at least give it a shot? At least try chatting for a day? You have nothing to lose! Come on, please, Levi, please please please, at the very worst you end up still lonely, at the best you make friends, maybe even a boyfriend, at least you’ll be talking! Right?”

“N…” Very nearly denying it, but then Levi caught a glimpse of his friend’s soul-destroying expression of hope. Shit. Well, he could try chatting for five minutes and tell Hanji it had been a day.

“Fine.” 

He booted her out of the door before she could happily weep all over his laptop.

-

“Ew, no, don’t want to see that, I might be a hormonal teenager jerking off but I still have my boundaries- that looks all right, a little boring though- what the hell is that girl _doing_ with that potato? Oh, thank god, it’s an ad, she’s just eating it,” Eren wiped the sweat from his forehead. Lazily circling his mouse around the screen as he looked for a suitable porn clip, his attention was mildly grabbed by a little flashing window in the corner.

**Find hot guys in your area!**

 

Eren paused.

**100% reliable! NO scam!**

 

Eren’s boner died as his curiosity sprang to life.

**Sign up and chat for FREE! No details or pictures needed-**

 

That was it. Forgetting all about the porn, Eren ignored any and all cybersafety lessons he’d received in high school and slammed on the mouse.

-

“The fuck is this, the fuck is that…” Levi impatiently entered a username into the box. “Looking for: Boys/Girls…Hanji, you bastard, this is definitely a little more than a friendly little chatting widget…” He shrugged and clicked “looking for boys” because he’d always been more than just a little homo and he wasn’t going to deny it now. The green sign up button looked rather cheerful.

 _Go fuck yourself,_ Levi told the green button. _No one should be this cheerful this early in the morning._

 

There was an electronic beep, a happy little jingle, and he was in. Lame. How was he supposed to use this, though…? Curse technology. Curse his old, withering up twenty four year old self.

-

Eren couldn’t believe it. He was actually excited.

Sure, there were lots of shit websites to look for potential boyfriends or girlfriends or friends with benefits, but he might as well give this one a try. The advertisement had looked rather classy. Plus, he was sure his mother preferred to walk in on him chatting to a random stranger than viciously stroking his-

Holy shit. There were a lot of people online.

 _Colossaldick_ read the first one, and Eren shuddered.

The next username was _Armouredtits._

 

Eren gulped. Okay, well, maybe this wasn’t as classy as he thought it would be, but no harm done, right? 

_Dancingwhore._

 

_Femalewhocanbemaleifyouwant._

 

_Attackonmygenitals._

 

Eren was just about to close the tab, clear his history, shut down his computer and pretend the whole morning hadn’t happened when a username caught his eye.

 _Corporal_ looked rather tame by comparison, and if that turned out to be some kind of creepy military kink Eren could just sign out and delete his account. You won’t be sure until you try, Eren reminded himself of the age old mantra, ignoring the fact that it was probably not best applied in this sort of situation.

He clicked on it.

-

_You are now chatting with Jaegerbomb._

 

Levi blinked. That was fast. At least this Jaegerbomb person didn’t pick a username similar to 80 percent of the whole site.

_[Jaegerbomb]: @ least u dont have a weird ass name_

 

Levi blinked again. Telepathy seemed to be present in this world. He made a mental note to tell Hanji. Wrinkling his nose at the screen, he set his hands lightly onto the keyboard.

_[Corporal]: Jesus Christ, kid, at least type properly. Grammar. Spelling. You know the drill._

 

_[Jaegerbomb]: oh so ur one of those fcking grammar nazis? also im 18, im not a kid, thx._

 

_[Corporal]: Now, who put the stick there?_

 

_[Jaegerbomb]: what r u talking abt. who put what stick where_

 

_[Corporal]: Who put the stick up your fucking ass, that’s what I’m asking._

 

_[Jaeger]: ur rude u know that_

 

_[Jaeger]: i can type however the fuck i want and refuse to be called a kid all i want_

 

_[Jaeger]: basic human rights u piece of trash_

 

_[Corporal]: Sometimes I wonder why I even bother._

 

_[Corporal]: Basic human rights, kid? If I ever see you in real life I’m going to punch you in the face and call it a basic human right._

 

_[Jaegerbomb]: not if i punch u in the face first. and good luck finding me_

 

_[Corporal]: The advertisement did say “singles around your area”. Your sorry ass shouldn’t be far away._

 

_[Jaegerbomb]: ur an asshole but ur funny. also if u stalk me ill call the police._

 

_[Corporal]: Whatever helps you sleep at night._

 

_[Jaegerbomb]: if only u were a nice guy, then u could be the one helping me sleep @ night._

 

_[Corporal]: I don’t want to admit it, but quoting your words, “ur an asshole but ur funny”._

 

_[Jaegerbomb]: did u just compliment me_

 

_[Corporal]: No. See you around, kid._

 

 _Corporal_ has disconnected.

Eren stared at the flashing screen in disbelief. It felt like an hour of war and bloodshed had passed on that virtual battlefield, but in reality they’d talked for about two minutes.

Also, that guy was a major dickhead.

Shaking his own head, Eren went to deactivate his account.

_Are you sure you want to leave the site?_

 

For some reason, Eren had the feeling that his friendly conversation with the Corporal would be the first and last chat not filled with sexual innuendos and second rate pick up lines, if all the other usernames were anything to go by.

_Yes, I’m sure._

 

Eren clicked the annoyingly vibrant green button.

-

“Fucking Hanji,” Levi growled, conjuring an image of the woman shoved headfirst into a garbage bin. Good, she was where she belonged. Surrounded by her own loving kin. Fuck her.

And then the woman in question’s Caller ID flashed on Levi’s phone screen and it was all Levi could do not to smash his iPhone with brutal force into the unmarred grey wall. Squeezing his eyes shut and holding the phone away from his face, he answered the call.

“LEVI! ARE YOU CHATTING WITH PEOPLE AND MAKING FRIENDS? ALSO. I KNOW I JUST LEFT YOUR HOUSE, BUT. ERWIN IS BACK FROM ENGLAND TODAY. SO. I THOUGHT WE COULD ALL GO OUT FOR DRINKS TONIGHT!!! WHADDAYA SAY, LEVI BOY? NIGHT OUT? PUB CRAWLING?”  
  
“Even if I say no it won’t make a difference.” He was resigned to his fate. All he wanted to do after that stomach curdling- the boy had been slightly entertaining, but still- online experience was drown himself in his lavender-scented sheets and go the fuck back to sleep.

“YAY! I’VE BEEN DYING FOR A GOOD JÄGERBOMB.”

Levi actually did throw his iPhone this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I! Hope! You! Enjoyed! That! Also, Eren being deaf is not a spoiler if it's in the summary. Just saying. Sorry for the cliche usernames, I honestly couldn't think of anything else for Levi except imshortbutmydickisnot, which I didn't want to use for quite obvious reasons. I'm not sure if I'll be updating very frequently because I have to work on my other fic TMIHE, BUT if you guys liked this chapter I'll try my goshdarn best to continue writing about these two assholes.  
> My tumblr is chlorinephantomhive! I post...I don't even want to explain.  
> Sorry.  
> Love and lots of R18 doujins,  
> Audrey


	2. Alcohol and Alone Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things to learn from this chapter:  
> 1\. A drunk Armin is not a good Armin.  
> 2\. A year isn't enough to recover from regret or insecurity.  
> 3\. Never attend an interview unprepared.  
> 4\. Don't sit on a sidewalk alone unless you want to be mistaken as a hobo.  
> 5\. Some strangers are always going to be...well, strange.  
> 6\. It's better to have entertaining arguments than boring ones.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look who's back! *weak cheering* *the sound of someone sobbing in the background*  
> In this chapter you get to take a look into Eren's head, and get a glimpse of what he's like when not online. (Also I wanted an excuse to write drunk Armin) I originally meant for this fic to be 100% angst-free, but then I realised that it is necessary for accentuating the backstory and conveying the full effect of Ereri feels later on. Plus, I'm pretty sure some philosopher somewhere has said something like "with comedy must come a teensy bit of angst". No? Let me have at least this scrap of comfort ;A;  
> I don't want to ramble on anymore, so enjoy!
> 
> ***Note; dialogue written in italics represents communication through sign language.  
> ***Another note; I do not mean to insult or upset anyone who is handicapped-everything in the text below is my interpretation of Eren's feelings as a deaf person and is not purposefully written to insinuate, imply or personally attack.

Afternoon had begun to fade into evening with dusky violet tears. Eren could feel the light thud of familiar footsteps fall outside his door, see the shadow that expanded as the door was pushed open. He knew what was coming.

“ _You spent the day holed up in your room, didn’t you?”_ Mikasa signed, frown marring her elegant features.

“So what if I did?” Eren muttered under his breath- or, he thought he did, until he saw Mikasa cringe. “Too loud?”

“ _Eren, that was like a foghorn. When you’re around strangers who know sign language in public, use your hands to talk, okay?_ ” A blonde head popped out from behind the doorway, hands gliding smoothy through the different signs.

Eren rolled his eyes. “See, this is why I’m on my computer all the time. The Internet doesn’t care if I’m too loud or too soft. People will hear me anyway. And _I_ can hear _them.”_

“ _Eren…_ ” Armin started, and Mikasa’s expression grew heavy with guilt.

“Spare it,” Eren shook his head, placing his laptop down on the table, “What’s for dinner?”

-

“ _So then I was like, what the fuck? And then she was like, yeah, I stole these cookies from the career guidance counsellor, and I said, those aren’t cookies, that’s a bowl the size of Albania!”_ Connie signed, face wild with uncontrolled mirth, and only Marco laughed. Reiner set a heavy hand onto the buzzcut boy’s shoulders, making the sign for “ _childish”_ right beneath Connie’s nose. Connie whirled around and spat something at Reiner, not knowing how to express those insults in sign language, and Eren watched in bemusement as Reiner’s hand morphed into a fist with his middle finger standing upright. He couldn’t help but feel a little left out, as he did whenever their group met up for a drink. Arguments…passionate debates…excited shouts…for the first nineteen years of his life he’d taken his hearing for granted, never even given it much thought. The way Jean’s voice was tight and brittle as he said something scornful? Eren took it for granted. The way Krista’s voice was light and angelic? Eren took that for granted, too. The way Reiner’s voice was deep and rumbling, the way Bertholt’s wavered when he felt uneasy, the way Sasha’s bright words could expand to fill a room…All of these, for granted. And then the accident had happened and taken his hearing from him, leaving Eren unable to hear his own regretful sobs.

His friends- and that included Jean the equine fuck- had learnt sign language just to be able to communicate with him, and even though he was grateful beyond measure… He knew that he’d never be able to hear those voices again and nothing would ever be able to replace that.

He realised he’d been wallowing in self pity for too long when Ymir shoved him roughly with one shoulder and set a shot glass in front of him. “ _Drink,”_ She motioned, “ _You look like you need it.”_

He did.

Armin wandered up to him, already tipsy from the wobble in his step. “ _Do…you…want to dance?”_ Armin’s shoulders jerked in what Eren assumed was a drunken giggle. Eren shook his head. He’d used to dance, sure, but now that he couldn’t hear the music he made sure to stay away from the dance floor.

“ _Please?”_ Armin’s shoulders landed heavily on the bar, and he frowned. “ _Whoopsie. Armin has a boo boo.”_ His eyes lit up, and Eren groaned. “ _Armin’s arm-in pain. HA!”_ Blonde hair mussed up, what looked suspiciously like a _hickey_ on his…left ankle…?, and a goofy smile spread over his face, Armin looked like he’d either made a recent escape from the Playboy mansion or, alternatively, an asylum. “ _I MADE A PUN! NEXT UP, WORLD DOMINATION!”_ Tripping over his own foot, the giggling boy pirouetted and landed in the arms of Mikasa, who had a rare expression of horror on her face. “ _Thanks for catching me, M…M…Michael!_ ”

Mikasa looked as if she were about to explode. Eren nearly choked on his drink.

“ _Michael? Are you all right_?” Staring up into Mikasa’s dark abysses of eyes in wonder, Armin lifted a hand to tenderly stroke her cheek. “ _It’s okay, Michael…let it all out…you don’t have to keep your feelings bottled up inside!…_ ”

Mikasa abruptly detached Armin’s arm from her face, lifted him by the armpits in an iron grip, and deposited him onto Sasha, who was crawling on the floor trying to intercept a waiter.

The chaos that followed made Eren glad that he still had his sight.

Eren would have hopped off his stool to make sure Armin didn’t pass out in the middle of the crowd, but a bartender chose that exact moment to approach.

“…”

The mirth he’d been feeling previously dissipated in all but three seconds. Like he’d been a bird, his wings a streak of light against the backdrop of the sky, but a spear had shot through the air and impaled his stomach. Now his wings were a streak of blood. Eren’s chest felt like a whirlpool as the man’s lips started to move. The dread he felt whenever strangers attempted to speak to him was unexplainable. It was like a wall had been erected between him and the outside world, a wall that only few could break- and he hated this wall with a passion. It destroyed him from the inside out.

The bartender’s expression started to morph into one of irritation. When Eren was fifteen he’d never been touched by anxiety like this, maybe just licks of it at a time. Now anxiety was used to making a home on his skin, crawling and digging with its poisoned nails. Mikasa appeared next to him. _Thank God._

 He kept his head down as she did whatever an angry, protective sister does when their disabled brother is misunderstood at ten fifteen in a crowded pub. He kept his head down as the bartender turned to look at him with a gaze saturated in pity. He kept his head down as the situation began its transition into the awkward phase where the bartender pretended to busy himself with work, but was sneaking curious looks at Eren like he was an animal in a cage. _Look, honey, the rare species of deaf person!_ Not once did Eren have to look up, because he already knew what was going to happen.

He’d been deaf for three years and he still couldn’t get used to it. People can get acquainted with their insecurities. People can get _familiar_ with their insecurities. But no one will ever, _ever_ get used to them. Everyone in the bar was suddenly worked up into a frenzy, some pointing at the speakers overhead, some clinging to each other and jumping up and down. Eren assumed a good song had come on.

He picked up the shot glass in front of him and ignored the burn as it slid down his throat.

-

For years after, Levi would never understand why.

He’d be fifty years old, bent and crooked and alone, and Hanji’s fucking annoying midget babies would be pulling at his shirtsleeves, claiming they were “hungry for logic and reason”, because Levi was a hundred percent sure that’s what Hanji spawn would say. They’d ask him, “Levi, Levi, _why? Why_ did you do that?”

And he wouldn’t be able to answer. Because he still wouldn’t be able to understand.

Understand why he hadn’t deleted that dating chat widget from the eighth ring of hell.

Hanji’s children would cry, oh they’d scream. _Levi, you have to tell us, there’s a reason for everything._ But Levi would place two hands on his ears and rock back and forth, his spine creaking with the weight of guilt and shame…

“Mr. Ackerman? Can you hear me?”

Levi snapped back into reality with a short cough.

“Ah, yes. I’m sorry. You were saying?”

“How has the Recon Corps managed to become the top publishing firm in under five years? The readers of our magazine are all curious.”

Levi inwardly rolled his eyes. Curious, my ass; the magazine just wanted more publicity, and the Recon Corps was a big deal in the industry. Interviews had never been his strong suit, but since Erwin had gone and drunk himself into a stupor yesterday, Levi was here to feed bullshit to the magazine’s staff. He never knew the right words to say, either, and the way he was gripping his cup of tea now, he’d probably scare the woman off first.

“Well, the Recon Corps has, under Comma- Mr. Smith’s direction…” Levi cursed as he almost let the derogatory nickname of “commander handsome” slip out from between his teeth. It had come about a few years ago, when Erwin, being the smooth bastard he was, “accidentally” seduced a female worker while helping her with the jammed printer. Apparently she’d squeaked out the name while thanking him, or so Hanji had reported when she came to Levi’s office trying to muffle her snickers. Whether it was true or not, none of Erwin’s friends used his real name afterwards.

“Scout the stands for upcoming authors…” _Shit, what the fuck? This wasn’t in his area of expertise! He just set about organising the files and managing finances, cleaning the offices while he was at it. He didn’t bother himself with petty matters like popularity among the readers._ “And…” He really just wanted to pour his cup of tea over the woman’s head.

BANG.

Both of them jolted at the sudden noise, Levi recovering first and immediately using this as an opportunity to escape. Leaping from his luxurious lounge chair, he rounded the corner to find no one else but his group of hand-picked managers fidgeting nervously. Gunther literally had one foot out the door, face frozen in horror. Briefly eyeing the broken vase on the floor with annoyance, Levi hissed, “Petra.”

“Yes!” The russet-haired woman in question shot to attention while trying to simultaneously grab a broom. “Sorry, it was an accident, Auruo knocked it over, I’ll clean it up immediately-“

“Look, I don’t care about the vase for now, what you _do_ have to clean up is _Erwin’s shit trail._ Now get the hell into that room and answer all her questions.” Slightly confused and mostly terrified, Petra nodded hastily at her superior and vanished through the doorway. Levi walked briskly past the group of pale-faced men, until the heel of his shoe ground into something mushy.

Inhale through the mouth. Exhale through the nose.

“ _Auruo,”_ Levi bit out, his voice tight, “I changed my mind. I actually still do care about the vase. Clean up all the mess. Now. While you’re at it, you could also clean this entire hallway and the whole second floor.”

It was eight o clock at night and Levi had yet to exit his workplace or eat dinner. He had to clean his house, and then he had to sort out papers from work, then he had to check his emails…Shit. His computer. The dating chat widget. Why hadn’t he deleted it? Hanji’s spawn. Everything that he’d bottled up inside came rushing out. Jaegerbomb, Jaegerbomb, Jaegerbomb. Stressed out of his mind, Levi laid a piece of paper on the sidewalk and sat on it, setting his computer on his lap. He’d use the dating chat to talk to that godforsaken kid one last time, so he could figure out why he hadn’t deleted it, why he’d felt some sort of strange reluctance. He’d end it all with a final conversation.

A woman walked past with her child, pulling him closer to her side and glancing distastefully at Levi. “Homeless people these days, thinking they own the streets,” she said none too quietly, and Levi bristled. He wasn’t homeless. No, he wasn’t homeless anymore.

-

After the bartender incident, Eren had made sure to stay in a corner for the rest of the night, chatting minimally and mostly with Bertholt who didn’t like crowds. He checked the clock frequently. Slightly past eight now. When would he get to go home? It wasn’t that he didn’t enjoy his friend’s company, he just felt out of it today. Come to think of it, he’d felt out of it these few days. He kept talking to people, and not hearing them, and pretending it was okay, but he was comparing reality to virtual connections. When he’d talked to the Corporal, he’d felt more _talked to_ than he’d ever felt since the accident. He felt like he’d been on the same level as the other person for once. His friends could break through his walls, sure, but talking to someone where your ears didn’t matter…was as if he existed outside of these walls.

And the Corporal was interesting.

In his own way, of course.

No one would notice if he slipped out now, right? Deciding on the answer for himself, he couldn’t hold back the small thrill that shot up his spine as he ducked out of the door and into the cold night air. It nipped at the tips of his ears, tugged the ends of his shirt out of his waistline, but he enjoyed the feel of it on his flushed cheeks. He enjoyed it so much, in fact, that he nearly tripped over some homeless guy sitting on the sidewalk- what the fuck, since when do homeless guys have MacBooks? It was a strange and twisted world that Eren lived in. Nearly sprinting around the corner, he made it to his apartment building just as the doors of the lift were cranking shut.

“ _Wait!”_ In his haste, his hands shot up. The lift doors were a sliver now, a mere inch between them- and then something incredible happened. The doors paused, and opened.

Eren couldn’t believe it.

Rushing forward, he darted into the small space, only to come face to face with glasses. _I should probably step back,_ some part of his consciousness said, and he realised that the glasses were set on an oval face framed by reddish tendrils. Another step back, and it was a woman with a really, really friendly grin spread across her face. “ _Hi! So you use sign language! Lucky it was me in the lift, huh! My name is-“_ a wild gesture to her name tag revealed that this enthusiastic creature bore the title of Hanji Zoe. “- _Nice to meet you!”_

Slightly taken aback, Eren swallowed hard and mustered a smile. “ _Hi, I’m…Eren. Nice to meet you too. Thank you for letting me in the lift.”_

_“Oh! It’s no problem! We’ll be living in the same building from now on, after all. That’s right, I’m moving into apartment 2E! Are we neighbours? I’ll bring you cookies, if we are! We can have secret letter exchanges!”_

_“Ah, I’m in 2G. We’re not neighbours, but we’re on the same floor. So you’re still in the moving process?”_

Hanji’s eyes lit up. She closed the distance between her and Eren at an incredibly fast rate, and for the second time that day, he was face to face with glasses. He felt slightly threatened.

“ _Yessiree! I’ve got_ so _much lab equipment to pack! And Sawney and Bean- my darling cats- are both in heat and having infrequent behavioural patterns!”_

The lift doors opened abruptly, and relief coursed through Eren like Niagara falls had been inserted up his ass.

“ _Um, see you around here when you’re done moving in. Have a nice night-“_

 _“How do I have a nice night when I’m single and don’t know any good clubs in the area?”_ Hanji Zoe’s expression changed from zealous to tormented in a split second. Eren moved back a few steps. “ _Not to mention, I only have two friends! Not fuck buddies, just friends! And even if I wanted to convert them to fuck buddies, they’re both gay!”_ Eren was quite sure that Hanji was trying to pull out a chunk of hair from her scalp. “ _I’m telling you, the only true love in my life is Science!”_ Hanji’s chest expanded, and Eren swore he could feel her dramatic gasp. “ _So no, I won’t have a nice night. But you have a nice night, Eren! Bye Bye!”_

And there she went, swerving around the row of potted plants, leaving an extremely confused boy who actually wished he’d stayed in the club.

Finally, however, Eren managed to press the button that started up his computer, sinking back into the cheap but comfortable couch that he’d gotten at a garage sale. He vaguely remembered Armin bargaining with the previous owner. Eren would bet his life that Armin had some kind of strange bargaining fetish. Twenty percent off probably made Armin get a boner. Fifty percent off? Armin had reached the zone of ultimate euphoria. And coupons, man, Armin probably jacked off to them-

Right, he had a website to be.

Hastily clicking on the annoying green button from before, Eren vaguely wondered why he was so eager. But deep down he knew the answer all too well; because he wasn’t deaf to the _Corporal._ He wasn’t deaf to anybody, here, and he wouldn’t have to endure any stares. He could be known as Eren, not Eren the deaf kid, that guy Eren who can’t hear, Eren whom did you hear got into an accident back in high school…

It was just one click away. Eren typed “hi” with bated breath, finger pausing on the “Enter” key. Would _Corporal_ be annoyed? He had made some pretty serious threats the last time, after all. _Maybe I should try meeting someone else online._ Eren was experiencing a rare moment of hesitation in his life without second thoughts. _Ah…should I say “hello” instead? Hi is too informal, I barely know him._

 

_[Corporal]: You there, kid?_

 

 _“_ Holy shit!” Eren grabbed the edge of the table and scooted back forcefully, sending the chair scraping against the tiled floor.

 

_[Jaegerbomb]: woah how did u know I wanted 2 talk 2 u_

 

_[Corporal]: You wanted to talk to me?_

 

_[Jaegerbomb]: uh. yeah u were funny and i just dont feel like being social_

 

_[Corporal]: Don’t we all. I’m flattered, though. I didn’t know you thought so highly of me._

 

_[Jaegerbomb]: ur getting ahead of yourself, old man. im just bored_

 

_[Corporal]: Old man?  
_

 

_[Jaegerbomb]: since u gave me a nickname i get to give you one too. pretty sure youre older than me, so._

 

_[Corporal]: Nicknames? Goddamn, I didn’t know we were girlfriends now_

 

_[Jaegerbomb]: murderers give their targets nicknames too_

 

_[Jaegerbomb]: that was morbid srry_

 

_[Corporal]: Aren’t you just a ball of fucking sunshine_

 

_[Jaegerbomb]: I could say the same for u, being grumpy all the time is gonna give u wrinkles_

 

_[Corporal]: There’s something about you that’s irresistibly unique_

 

_[Jaegerbomb]: wtf_

 

_[Corporal]: I just don’t know how to express it…_

 

_[Corporal]: …Right. You’re a dumbass._

 

_[Jaegerbomb]: Yeah, sure, im a dumbass and also majoring in law_

 

_[Corporal]: So you actually bullshitted your way into college? Con-fucking-gradulations, but it’s not good enough until you actually get a degree._

 

_[Jaegerbomb]: r we gonna just argue all night?_

 

_[Corporal]: You’re the one who wanted to talk, what did you expect? Heartfelt conversations? Sorry, kid, wrong person._

 

_[Corporal]: But I won’t deny that arguing with you is a passable way of killing time_

 

Eren couldn’t hold back a smile.

 

_[Jaegerbomb]: Ha, reminds me of this other guy who’s boring as fuck even when ur arguing with him_

 

_[Jaegerbomb]: His name is Jean_

 

_[Corporal]: That’s actually a very boring name_

 

_[Jaegerbomb]: hey do u think that your name subconsciously affects ur character_

 

_[Corporal]: What are you high on?_

 

_[Jaegerbomb]: Nothing, I swear_

 

_[Jaegerbomb]: just…a hypothesis_

 

_[Corporal]: Please don’t use that word, I have an…acquaintance who’s overly into science and it brings back bad memories_

 

_[Jaegerbomb]: what word, you mean hypothesis?_

 

_[Corporal]: Ugh_

 

_[Jaegerbomb]: Hypothesis hypothesis hypothesis_

 

_[Corporal]: I take it back. Arguing with you is boring and I’d rather wallow in my own shit._

 

_[Jaegerbomb]: Hypothe- ok, im sorry, im sorry_

 

And that was how a homeless man with a macbook ended up sitting on the sidewalk for two hours and not deleting a certain dating chat widget after all.

-

“…Eren?”

Mikasa gently removed the computer from beneath her sleeping brother’s head. Brown locks fell over his face, his arm bent in an awkward angle- but Mikasa thought that Eren looked the most peaceful he’d ever been, because she could see the loud, untroubled boy he’d been a year ago in the small smile etched across his lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OHO /secretly feels pleased with myself for actually managing to string this chapter together, because it was difficult and I actually considered giving up a couple times./  
> By the way, I need to tell you all something- I am so so so grateful for the bookmarks, and the kudos, but do you know what my favourite part is? -COMMENTS. I ABSOLUTELY LOVE READING THROUGH YOUR COMMENTS, because it feels like you're TALKING to me and patting me on the head or something and you have the ability to brighten up my entire day without even knowing it. I also love hearing about your thoughts and suggestions, or else I'd feel unsure of what to write in the future! So if you have the time, drop a little comment to let me know what you thought, and DO NOT BE AFRAID TO TALK TO ME BECAUSE I JUMP AT THE CHANCE TO TALK TO YOU, TOO *hanji-like screaming*
> 
> Thank you all so much!!!
> 
> -Audrey-  
> [Tumblr: chlorinephantomhive, you can send me suggestions and friendly things and constructive criticism there as well, you have no idea how happy I feel whenever I see a message from a reader]


	3. Felines and Fuck-ups

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren leads a troubled life. Trapped in his professor's house, peed on liberally by small animals, and metaphorically ripping bandages off really quickly with no success. We don't hear about Levi's life, but it probably sucks too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't look at me I updated

Eren didn’t know how, or why, he was currently in the situation that he was in. 

It had started out pleasantly enough. Grabbed breakfast from the small diner next to his university, then powered through the first class of the day with a sort of forced enthusiasm he’d managed to hone through the years. Dutifully spread around a few of Armin’s campaign posters- he was trying to get into the student union, and Eren had no doubt that with his angelic features and knife-keen brain, he’d succeed- then just barely avoided Connie by the water fountain pushing people in and yelling “do it for the vine” _after._ It had been a decent start to the day, in all honesty, considering that Eren wasn’t much of a morning person and it being a new term, meant the arrival of _new professors._ He didn’t like them for two reasons- firstly, having to explain his inability to actually hear them, and secondly, because they all tended to be asshats. Not that he was prejudiced, but new teachers always seemed to be outsiders trying desperately to get all buddy-buddy with the students, and if there was one thing Eren didn’t like it was forced relationships. Cheap feelings. Gross. 

Then his completely decent day had been jarred about midway in with an unexpected appearance. Namely, Hanji, his new floor-mate, owner of two cats and social extraordinaire. _Professor_ Hanji now, to be exact. It was a rude shock to see her perched on the edge of the table in the lab, grinning (leering) at students who trooped in. “I’m your new teacher for this term!” Hanji had signed with her hands while she spoke, which admittedly gave Eren a flush of gratitude. When class began, it became strikingly apparent to all that while Hanji may have been weird, what she lacked in social grace she made up for in scientific brilliance. Her explanations were insane, her demonstrations revolutionary, and while Eren had never really been too fond of molecules and the like, he found himself clutching his pen and savouring every word that he took down. The air in the lab was strung with an electricity that had Hanji branded all over it, and the best thing to Eren was that Hanji signed every single word that came out of her mouth. If there wasn’t a sign for a scientific term she wrote it in sprawling letters on the whiteboard, and her eyes always flashed to Eren to check if he understood what she was trying to get across. She was doing all this for him, and with every minute that passed he realised more and more why this woman was extraordinary. Honestly, if he weren’t gay, he’d probably fall a little bit in love with her, because she was just that kind of person. 

Fast forward to now. The situation that Eren was in had melted away all traces of admiration he’d previously felt for Hanji. Eren was, in contrast to earlier, pissed. 

Not just emotionally pissed- _literally_ pissed. On. By a cat. 

Eren was also, conveniently, allergic to cat fur. 

He was seated on Hanji’s artsy flea-market couch (that felt lovely to flop on until the rusty spring revealed itself and jammed right up between your rear, and in the most unpleasant way possible) and covered in about five layers of thick cat fur, while the cats in question slinked around his thighs and preened with an elegant boredom that only cats have down to an art. What had been tanned brown skin was now covered in thin red lacerations, and the mucus that spilled from Eren’s nose was just about enough to distract him from the pain that sliced through his kneecaps as a cat slammed its paws down and _kneaded._ Then, of course, Eren had been treated to the sensation of cold liquid running down the inside of his thigh, making his entire body freeze over. The smell that pervaded his blocked-up nostrils was definitely a hundred per cent cat piss. _You actual piece of shit_ , Eren sneezed violently and miserably threw his head back over the edge of the sofa, _this is why I prefer dogs._ And where was Hanji now? Away, supposedly for a doctor’s appointment. She had pounced on him the minute after class ended, shoved him a piece of paper that said “Please look after my cats you are the only one I can trust apart from Levi, here is my address” and took off. 

Eren guessed he could deal with the feeling of yellow liquid crusting the inside of this pants- I mean, he was a guy, and all too many times he’d attempted to urinate while drunk and ended up spraying small countries a few seas over. The problem was, though, that he had no idea when Hanji would be returning, and he was supposed to meet his friends for lunch (which conveniently happened to be in an hour). Then, as if by a stroke of cruel, cruel fate, the phone on Hanji’s small coffee table started to _vibrate._

His brain struggled to register the absurdity of what was actually happening. It was a bad sitcom that would have never made it on air, him being the main and only character. Instead of friends he had weak-bladdered cats and wounded legs, and instead of the tough-love mentor-student trope he had a crazy vodka aunt-like figure in the form of Hanji Zoë. The big climax of the show had actually happened- judging from its rapid motion, Hanji’s house phone was ringing. 

Eren was _deaf._

__  


He fought the urge to cackle at himself, because if Jean had been here he’d have a field day. Then again, if Jean had been here he’d be posting pictures of Eren drenched in urine to Instagram and running away at the first sign of trouble. Sometimes Eren really wondered why he hadn’t been cast as the main character of a series, because he was incredibly accident and awkward moment-prone and the producers would never even have to write a plot. They’d just follow Eren around with a camera and photoshop his crotch bulge larger and hey, maybe he’d even get a romantic interest- 

The phone was still vibrating, seeming more and more like a ticking bomb by the second. The screen read “unrecognised”, which meant that it was probably a telemarketer, and Eren gleefully weighed his options. One- he could just ignore it, tell Hanji about it when she returned. Two- he could do a quick answer then hang up combo. Three- he could _totally_ answer the phone and make sex noises so that Hanji’s reputation was ruined forever. 

Done. 

Eren, thrumming with excitement, manoeuvred his arm over the nearest cat body and lifted the phone from its stand. Then he placed the speaker directly over his mouth and moaned as loudly and as lasciviously as he could. He channelled everything he could from that one online lady Reiner had introduced to the gang at a sleepover three years ago, and prayed that it sounded authentic instead of like a dying whale. He was pretty sure he was doing good, going by the faint buzzing that was growing louder and louder in his ears, perhaps tinny screaming from a scandalised telemarketer on the other end. Revenge sounded just like that, a vague angry buzz overlaid with a sweet, smug silence, and revenge looked like a lock being inserted violently into a keyhole from the other side of the door and- wait, what? Acting on complete instinct, Eren flung the phone onto the table and dove under the couch, clumsily detaching two yowling felines as he did so. He felt the urine dripping slowly onto the floor beneath him as the door slammed open with a very un-Hanji like jerk and his entire body tensed up. Nothing moved. Then he saw a pair of sleek dark shoes appear in the doorway. 

_Robber,_ Eren’s mind screamed, but then again, a robber wouldn’t have Hanji’s key unless she stood on the street handing out spares. Judging by the gait and the way the knees creased roughly against the black denim, it was a man, and he was advancing rapidly towards Eren’s hideout. Eren felt his spine stiffen and willed his legs not to spasm suddenly like he did when he was nervous. Who _was_ this? Hanji’s boyfriend? Eren let his mind wander a little before its leash was pulled taut with the fear of being discovered. Then the leather shoes stopped right before the couch, literally inches from Eren’s face, and a pair of slender arms reached down and picked up the cat in one brisk fluid move that felt almost practiced. From Eren’s vantage point, all he could see was the cat’s tail hanging lazily from wherever it was in the stranger’s arms, curving and flicking in a self-satisfactory manner, and Eren decided that if the cat knew this man, then this man was definitely here a lot. His mind danced between staying here, wedged between the floor and the tarnished metal underside of the couch, or just emerging from beneath and trying to rectify the situation. Hey, if the cat liked this guy, he couldn’t be that bad, right? Eren would just explain the situation and then get the hell out of here. Just like ripping off a bandaid- skin brittle but not bleeding. Shifting his limbs slightly out from where they were tucked under his body, Eren sent off a quick plea to whatever cruel god that was looking from afar and popped his entire body from beneath the couch. 

It was not like ripping off a bandaid. He had pulled the edge of the bandaid off, then the entire chunk of skin attached to it, then ripped out the entire muscle along with several bone fragments. Eren found himself tumbling straight into the edge of the coffee table then landing sideways onto the stranger’s polished shoes, which was _definitely_ not a good move because the foot beneath him delivered a striking kick into the side of his stomach and sent him flying to the side in a mess of tangled limbs. Then he felt the collar of his T-Shirt tightening, biting into his neck like a hot wire, and all too quickly a thin hand had fisted a bunch of his shirt and hauled him to his feet. Eren was met with an eyeful of black hair, and then pale skin, and then eyes and finally a really angry man. In the flurry of movement that had ensued Eren wasn’t able to completely register the person as a whole, but now that he was shoved up against the wall and standing, he thought the man looked like a demon. An actual demon, not like the heavily bedazzled demon girls from RPGs or the red-skinned entities that lurched out in haunted houses, no, a human demon, exuding feral energy in its rawest form. He had human features, sure; greyish eyes, slanted upwards at the ends, but they were swirling with a hellish light; and he had a pretty normal nose, but even that was marred by the lips beneath configured into a snarl. Eren was actually pretty scared, and if not for the fact that his man was a whole head shorter than him his own urine might be running down his legs. Then the man smashed his head backwards into the wall and his lips started moving and Eren started to panic because he couldn’t hear. He could only stare, body numb and unresponsive except for the way his spine ground painfully against the hard plaster of the walls, as the man’s mouth moved and shaped and uttered words that he didn’t know the sound of, and he sunk into a sort of half-aflame state where one part of his body was being crushed whole by age-old anxiety and the other was just content to stay where it was, entranced by the way the man’s lips moved. They didn’t move like other people’s. They were different, different in that they didn’t so much speak as spell the words into the air, viciously, eyebrows creased in rage and nose slightly scrunched because this man was angry and his mouth served as his anger’s amplifier. Eren didn’t realise he must have looked very wrong, until the man seemed to lose some of his urgent emotion and his fist loosened around Eren’s crumpled collar. 

“Are you okay” 

Eren could read what the man was saying because he said it slowly, looking a mix of disgusted and confused, and Eren was suddenly filled with a piercing shame. Because if he chose to say what was wrong with him, he wouldn’t be a normal human being to the man anymore, and only normal human beings could inspire anger and lips moving and fists curling and warm breath in his face. People like Eren withdrew pity. So Eren could only shake his head, letting the man think he was simply a troubled teenager or someone who had tried to rob Hanji or perhaps just someone who’d lost his mind, and the hand finally released the fabric that laced Eren’s collarbones. Eren’s hand flew up to his neck, trying to sooth the rubbed-red skin, averting his gaze as he was shoved roughly away. Eren stared- he couldn’t help it- at the side of the man’s head, the neat undercut and the elfish ears, cheekbones cut precisely beneath temples framed by black fringe. He avoided the eyes, because he didn’t want to know what kind of emotion roiled within. Eren’s gaze returned to the man’s mouth. 

“Go” 

And Eren did, out the door and away from him. 

\- 

(3) Unread texts 

Eren read them now. 

Professor Hanji : _Hey Eren! Did you get scared away by a short guy? Black undercut? He’s my good friend! (He’s mean though) He told me he saw someone like you hiding under my couch, and probably thought you were trying to plant bombs in my house or something, but I cleared things up!! I explained to him that you were my student. I didn’t tell him anything else. Don’t worry ^^ Thanks for looking after my cats!!1!!!!_

__  


Eren sighed. 

__  


Mikasa : 

_Eren,_

_You have to come down from your room eventually. I’m eating dinner first because I’m hungry and I’m not waiting for you. If you’re going to game all night at least bring the food up. I’m meeting Annie tomorrow, so I’ll get my own breakfast._

__  


Eren rolled his eyes. Sisters. 

__  


Levi : 

_How was your day, Jaeger? I had a strange one._

__  


Eren felt a smile breaching the edges of his lips and immediately sat up straight, hands flying to the screen. Levi was _Corporal,_ from the chat widget thing that Eren had honestly only kept for the sole purpose of talking to him, and after about a week they’d both agreed to exchange numbers because one of them “can’t concentrate on my fucking work when your notifications keep popping up on my desktop” and the other wanted to “send u snapchats of my glamorous life”. So Eren added a new contact to his phone and everything just escalated from there, little messages while Eren was in school that made him laugh and long ones at night when Eren was up too late thinking about everything. Of course, Levi didn’t know much about Eren, just things like his hobbies (sketching and gaming and prank-calling) and his favourite food (burgers) and the state he lived in (Trost) and little anecdotes that mostly involved Jean and breaking things (that one time Eren had walked in on Jean and Marco doing _stuff._ Later Eren had broken a vase as he ran down the stairs shrieking). Levi _didn’t_ know Eren’s Big Secret or how Eren felt like Levi was the only one he could really truly talk to without a sense of loss, or that Eren secretly liked Levi’s dirty humour, and Eren also spent some nights vividly reliving the accident. But Levi knew enough to be Eren’s friend, and that was all he needed. 

**Eren :**

Pretty bad, too. I kinda got barricaded inside my university professor’s house. Id tell you about it but its late and my sister is making me go down for dinner 

__  


**Levi :**   
_Wow, going down for dinner, what an absolute sin. How does your sister even put up with you?_

__  


**Eren :**

She’s kind of like you, actually. Pulls punches first asks questions later. Keeps me in line. 

__  


**Levi :**   
_Your sister is a kindred soul. (Kid, I don’t just pull punches. I fucking deliver them on a silver platter)_

__  


**Eren :**

ewwwww gro ss you better not be thinking about getting with my sister perv (lmao showoff much) 

__  


**Levi :**   
_For your future reference, I will never be “getting with” your sister, unless she has a dick. Even then, I probably wouldn’t, seeing as how she’s related to someone like you._

__  


**Eren :**

What 

**Eren :**

wAit 

**Eren :**

WAIT WHAT ARE YOU GAY 

**Eren :**

??!?!??! 

**Levi :**

_I’d hope so, seeing as how I spent a fucking total of seventeen agonising years in the closet before deciding to suck it up and come clean. Do you have a problem?  
_

**Eren :**   
NO 

**Eren :**

No as in NO I don’t have a problem with it at all 

**Eren :**

Im just…surprised, because you’ve never told me. How have you never told me??? It’s sudden, that’s all 

**Levi :**

_Huh. You never asked, and I’ve never seen a reason to bring it up. It’s not like it’s some special condition that people must be aware of, and it’s not a defining feature of who I am in any way. It just happens that I like guys, like some girls like guys, while some other girls like girls. Simple if you ask me._

__  


Eren stared at the screen for a stretched-out moment. It struck a chord in him, somewhere. 

_It’s not a defining feature of who I am in any way._

__  


He’d…always treated his deafness as something “special”, something that completely altered who he was in other people’s eyes and who he was to himself. And he’d accepted this like swallowing a hard pill, but this pill lodged in his throat and bled bitterness into his stomach. But maybe being deaf wasn’t like that, didn’t change you- maybe being deaf was like being gay. It just _was_. Huh. 

His hand hovered over the phone for a moment before it bent, the pads of his fingers brushing surely against the screen, and somewhere deep down he felt a sudden strong emotion towards Levi that he didn’t know how to explain. It was like…a deep trust, in Levi, trust for _what_ Eren didn’t know, and a gratefulness for what Levi had said that had shaken Eren to his core. It felt strange and kind of warm and Eren was sudden embarrassingly happy that Levi was his friend, albeit one he’d never seen. Eren dashed out a reply. 

**Eren :**   
That makes terrifying sense and Im scared now. Oh, and now that the subjects come up I’m gay too. Lets start exchanging fashion advice and fulfilling every single gay stereotype ever. 

**Levi :**

_Of course it makes sense, I know my shit. Ha, time to classify that under “useless facts about Eren that I have the privilege of knowing about”. Gay or not, it doesn’t matter for you because you’re never going to get laid anyway._

__  


**Eren :**   
SICK BURN no really Im crying rainbow tears also you have a list devoted to me? Im so touched, Levi! 

(1) Notification 

Mikasa: EREN COME DOWN FOR DINNER NOW. I CAN HEAR YOU LAUGHING UPSTAIRS AND YOU SOUND WEAK. IT ALSO SEEMS LIKE YOU LACK PROTEIN. LUCKILY, WE HAVE FISH. 

****  


**Eren :**

Bye, Levi. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. 

__  


__  


__  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. I have a lot of apologies to make, I guess. If you bookmarked this and you happen to see that I updated after like six months you're probably really angry and want to skin me alive. You have every right to be.  
> BUT while my address is still unknown, I might as well make use of the time I have left! This chapter was pretty hard to write because I kept forgetting that Eren was deaf and it's pretty pressurising to create realistic reactions based on the characters' personalities. But I honestly had a lot of fun continuing on from where I left off, and for some reason the conversation between Eren and Levi flows so much more smoothly from my fingers now than it did last time. THEY FINALLY MET, didn't they? The plot grows up so fast, I swear. Now that I'm back in the writing swing of things, I'm going to be punctual and give you the well-developed plot devices you deserve.   
> Thank you for reading and I hope you leave a comment because I harvest them for energy! (seriously though I love reading what you guys have to say and all the suggestions and critiques you make)  
> -Audrey  
> P.S. I'm chlorinephantomhive on Tumblr and you can talk to me there where I post artful memes and anime trash


End file.
